By: fallen angel

Pa

I remember back in the days when this guy was courting me. It started off talking online everyday, even during working hours. Both of our company was online friendly. Everyday i would see him online during our working hours. As time pass, we became good friends. We talk about everything, just like what best friends would talk about. Little did i know, he started to have feelings for me. He started sending me flowers and he don’t even live in the same country as me (neighbor country). To me at that time it was a act of sympathy cause i was going through a rough time in my life. So it was something to cheer me up. He would surprise me with flowers and send it to my office. The flowers would be my favourite colors, and the name of the bouquet is call angel. How sweet, but i never thought of him courting me at that time. All of his actions was nothing but just another best friend (which is a guy) lending a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. Although i know he adores me in some ways but i have never though of him in a romantic way.

Why?

I guess he’s too much of a friend. He’s like a girl friend i never had. We talk about our problems at work, interest, hobbies, fashion, hand phones, notebook, shoes, jewelry, ipods (he bought 1), i can go on and on but you get the point. To me we were nothing except for best friend. I don’t have that chemistry he had of me. I guess whatever he was feeling for me was only 1 sided. I guess i was flatter at times when he send me flowers, call me to chit chat or whatever things that he did was thoughtful. We met up a couple of times, and our hanging out sessions are great. He would take me to great restaurant, cool clubs, great shopping places, cafe’s etc. We always have a good time. We had a lot of things in common. Still… no chemistry.

The truth

As time goes by, finally when i realize that he’s not just treating me as a best friend but has other intentions. I have decided to tell him the truth. I had to let him down. It was not a easy thing to do and it’s sad cause i know i will be losing a best friend. After days and nights of thinking the right words to tell him without feeling being cruel. In my heart i know it’s the right thing to do. I do not want to lead someone on. Especially a nice guy like him.

I don’t want to beat around the bush. In the most polite way i said to him, “i hope you are not  too attached to me, i only like you as a friend.” I cherish our friendship and would not want to change that. Knowing him, i know he would say, “oh no of course not.” Exactly what i have expected. I broke the news to him online, during one of our daily chat. The next day, as usual i see him online, but he was rather quiet. I thought it would be good for us to chill out for awhile. He needs to gather his thoughts and except the facts. After all we were pretty close. We did exchange a few sentences and said that we were both having a busy day, and we left it at that. Throughout the whole week i can feel the tension between us. We barely said anything to each other and claim that we were busy with work.

Accepting friendship

One week later, he started to talk to message me. We started chatting like last time all over again, Since we seldom talk last week, there’s so much to catch up. I guess he needs time to accept our friendship and to feel detached from me. We didn’t talk about the issue at all, more or less burried between us. But he did come by indicating that he except that we are best friends and would not want anything to get into our way of our friendship.

We remain as good friends until now but we seldom talk like last time anymore. Reason? We have move on with our lives. There is no point putting so much attention to someone that does not like you. Although it was fun but he has to know he needs to put the attention to someone else.  He has to meet someone new and move on with his life. You can’t continue to be attracted to someone, when that someone is not attracted to you. That is why i made it very clear to him that we are nothing more than just “friends.” Then he can look at me in a different angle, not as his love interest. It is not right to lead someone on if you don’t like them. At least at the end both can still remain friends.

Stay tune as the story continues…