By: fallen angel

Inspired by the hit series “Ugly Betty” season 2, i like to talk about this problem which i think a lot of guys do not know. If you have finish watching the show like i did, you would understand why this is a un-resolved problem.

A lot of times after a girl breaks up with her boyfriend there come a friend (guy) with his shoulder for her to cry on. Who is this guy?. Usually a good friend or just a friend. They comfort you, try to make you smile, do everything that’s possible so you would heal from the break up. Where’s the catch? Ya… there’s a catch. After you are “over” with your ex, possibly you can consider the new beau that was with in your time of need. It is sad to say, but a lot of guys actually do that. I have to give credit to the guys cause it takes a lot of patience and understanding. On top of that it doesn’t guarantee the girl will be with you after she’s over the ex.

What you can do is, still be her friend so that you would know if she’s ready to move on or just want to have some fun. Most of the time when someone is on a “rebound” they tend to fall for someone very fast cause they crave for that feeling again. Very subjective here, unless you too are a player, then you won’t need to read this. I’m sure you have lot’s of experience . Moving on, since the 2 of you are already close friends or at least friends, you want to show her that you are there not just as a good friend but someone she can count on, someone serious . That is why you should be careful with the “friend zone” (read this in the earlier post). Give her space and drop hints that you are someone she can think of you in a romantic way. I have 1 good example: imagine this, think 1 of your good friend (girl) she’s like a sister to you or a really good friend that you tell all your secrets to. And then 1 day you tell her you love her. What do you think her reaction is gonna be ?. She’s gonna be in the stage of shock. “I can’t sleep with my friend i know for so long”. “It’ll jeopardize our friendship”. You’ve just made the situation complicated. BUT if you simply maintain a casual friendship and hopefully develop chemistry throughout, things may turn out to be different.

The rebound guy

If you are that guy, during her break up time and she was feeling needy and you were there for her, you are just going to be the rebound guy. She just want to get over her break up. She doesn’t know what she wants at the moment. You will end up being just another guy that’s feeding her neediness. She would actually feel like you are the substitute. Before you know it, she would start to tell you that you are not suitable for her and tons of reasons why. At that stage, she is not really over the ex yet. She’s on a “rebound”, she just need someone to fall on, like a soft pillow to ensure she’s not hurt but when she’s able to stand on her own she’ll be flying out of your arms. Unless you don’t mind being the rebound guy, you can go ahead with whatever persistent actions you have in mind. Just be cautious, a lot of people can do silly things when it comes to matters of the heart.

The “GUY”

In my opinion, if you really want to be the guy, you gotta let her go. Let her get over the break up herself. Or simply let her get a rebound guy or maybe not. Well it’s risk whether you want to take or not. Watch Ugly Betty, Gio can teach a lesson or 2. There is no need to rush things, if she’s interested she would definitely be there. But if she’s not, no matter what you do it’s just not gonna happen. Some of you may think, she’s not interested now, maybe later. Hmm… i’ll say at this stage, i don’t know how late you can wait. I don’t think she’s waiting for anyone. She will get over her ex on her own and move on. If she sees you in the future, you are going to be like someone she just met. Someone she can have a date with. Someone she can start to enjoy the company and perhaps start a relationship with . You get the idea. If you want a better picture, just watch Ugly Betty

• Boyfriend says: Point is, if you like a girl and she’s going through a break up, don’t be her girlfriend and listen to her sob stories. That is what her girlfriends are for, not you. You are there to bring sunshine to her life, not helping her to re-live her misery by listening all night long about how cruel her ex were, what shit he got into, what did he do wrong etc. No sir, ignore all that and focus on having fun. Ignore the irrelevant stuffs (her sob stories.. try zoning out and switch topic, it works) and focus on showing her how much fun she can have with you.

Till next time…

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